HolyNonsense.net

Why Christianity is Nonsense

Reason #1 - Jesus was a False Prophet

Jesus is recorded by the writers of the Gospels to have made at least three predictions of his own coming and establishing a "Kingdom of Heaven" within the lifetimes of his contemporaries in the first century:

  • Matthew 10:23 - Jesus swears to the Apostles that they will not finish evangelizing the cities of Israel until the "Son of Man" comes - a figure from Daniel 7:13-14 who rules the whole world, and who Jesus repeatedly identifies himself with in the Gospels
  • Matthew 16:27-28, Mark 8:38-9:1, Luke 9:26-27 - Jesus, when speaking to his disciples, says that the "Son of Man" will come and judge the whole world, and that "there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom" (Matthew 16:28)
  • Matthew 24:3-34, Mark 13:4-30, Luke 21:7-32 - Jesus, prompted by a question about "the end of the age" (Matthew 24:3), describes a litany of apocalyptic events, and finishes by saying, "Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place" (Matthew 24:34). In Matthew, "this generation" always refers to the generation of people currently listening to Jesus speak (Matthew 11:16, 12:41-42, 12:45, 17:17, 23:36)

However, Jesus did not return, and certainly did not "come in the glory of His Father with His angels" and "repay every person according to his deeds" (Matthew 16:27). Likewise, the calamitous events that he swore would happen in his generation - such as the sun and moon going dark, all the tribes of the earth mourning at the sight of the Son of Man coming in the clouds, and angels going forth and gathering "the elect" from across the earth (Matthew 24:29-31) - did not happen either.

Responses from Christians to these failed prophecies almost never deal with all three of the passages discussed above at once. Rather, they are usually isolated, and attempts are made to find a convenient answer to each individually, so that the larger picture is obfuscated - which is that Jesus predicted a very imminent Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 4:17, 10:7), led by himself, which did not arrive as he predicted, even though the New Testament authors expected it to happen during their lifetimes (Romans 13:11-12, 16:20: 1 Corinthians 7:29, 10:11: Philippians 4:5: 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17, Hebrews 9:26, 10:37, James 5:7-8: 1 Peter 4:7, Revelation 1:1, 1:3, 22:6).

Reason #2 - The Resurrection Narrative is Illogical & Convenient, Because It Did Not Happen

The most astounding thing about the resurrection narrative is that after rising, Jesus hides himself from almost every single person on earth, then disappears, never to be seen again. He does not stay and teach, he does not write anything, and none of his enemies get the chance to speak to him, or ask any questions.

In the narrative, Jesus does not appear publicly to all of Jerusalem, or stay for years and teach - though such things would have banished all reasonable doubt about him forever, and clearly vindicated him as the chosen one of God. Rather, he is said to have appeared to a few followers in an upper room, and then to a scattered collection of others, at other times. Now, all other people for all time must rely on the alleged witness of these choice few, in their very late and contested writings, and that is how the God of the universe is said to vindicate Jesus.

Yet, from the alleged witnesses, we have basically nothing. Most of the Apostles, and those alleged to have seen him, disappear completely from the historical record, leaving behind no writings whatsoever. The only original Apostle to have a text explicitly claiming to be written by them in the New Testament is Peter, and many critical scholars reject that either First or Second Peter were actually written by Peter.

The resurrection narrative probably began as a "spiritual resurrection" narrative (i.e., God raised Jesus's spirit to Himself), and this is what was originally preached by Jesus's remaining followers a few months or years after he was executed. Then, by the time of the Gospels - roughly 40 years after Jesus died, when Christianity was still a very, very small movement, which already makes little sense if the spectacular miracles the authors describe happening actually occurred in front of thousands of witnesses as they claimed (Matthew 27:50-53 being the most absurd example) - the vision experiences were embellished to include elements such as an actual physical resurrection, complete with post-resurrection appearances and all - but conveniently, of course, no one gets to see him now - don't ask - and hardly anyone got to see him when it was supposed to have happened, before he disappeared.

The story is convenient, because the resurrection never happened. Jesus didn't stay and teach, or do anything sensible - like appearing in public - in the narrative, because it is fictional, and invented by the dismayed followers of a confused man after his untimely execution.

Reason #3 - The Hebrew Bible Has Clear Errors and Absurdities

Jesus and his followers upheld the Hebrew scriptures as being authoritative, and often appealed to them in order to argue for a point that they were trying to make. However, the Hebrew scriptures contain a litany of major issues:

  • The genealogies in Genesis chapter 5 and 11 present unrealistic human lifespans, and when traced through, an unrealistic age for mankind, and the earth. Additionally, the early chapters of Genesis give lifespans of many hundreds of years for people, while presenting some of them as being part of civilizations, with cities, metallurgy, etc.
  • The flood of Noah and the character of Noah (who is supposed to have lived to be 950 years old, yet is nearly a contemporary with Abraham) are unrealistic. And if the flood is given a global scope, it is historically and scientifically impossible in multiple ways
  • Abraham is 86 years old when Ishmael is born (Genesis 16:16). Isaac is born when Abraham was 100 years old (Genesis 21:5), making Ishmael around 14 years old at that time. Ishmael is then cast out after Isaac is weaned (another few years) with his mother Hagar (Genesis 21:8-14), which would mean he was 16-17 years old. Yet, Ishmael is apparently spoken of as a little child would be spoken of (Genesis 21:14-18), not a 16-17 year old young man. Probably represents multiple stories or traditions being blended
  • Abraham's wife Sarah is taken for her beauty at around age 90 (Genesis 17:17, 20:2), after she laughed at a woman her age being able to bear (Genesis 18:12-15). She and Abraham also remarked on how old he was as well at 100 years old (Genesis 17:17, 18:12 - as do Paul and the author of Hebrews - Romans 4:19, Hebrews 11:12), despite Abraham's father being 130 when he had Abraham (Genesis 11:32, 12:4, Acts 7:4), and also the extreme age of some people in what would have been rather recent history, like Noah, who would have nearly contemporaneous with Abraham. If the genealogies are followed in Genesis 11:10-26, he lived to 950 years old, and died about 2 years before Abraham was born. Also his son Shem would have been alive when Abraham was born (Genesis 11:11), and he would have been over 400 years old as well, etc. Also, Abraham goes on to have 6 more kids with another wife after Sarah dies (Genesis 25:1-2), and dies at age 175 (Genesis 25:7-8), which makes his and Sarah's comments about his age (Genesis 17:17, 18:12) make little sense, given that he would have been about middle aged when Isaac was born. Isaac himself lives to be 180 (Genesis 35:28-29). Isaac's son Jacob died at 147 (Genesis 47:28), and had Joseph when he was around 90 years old, and Benjamin when he was even older. Probably represents multiple layers of editing and blending stories together
  • The Exodus narrative does not correspond to known Egyptian history
    • SBL Study Bible - "The question remains as to whether there is an actual historical kernel to the events described in the exodus and Sinai narratives. In its present form, the story cannot be understood as reflecting eyewitness reports. The story is full of miraculous elements, and one cannot imagine that a people of several million persons (Exod 12.37 mentions 600,000 adult males) could cross a sea in one night. In the Egyptian sources, there is no allusion to such an exodus."
  • Ecclesiastes shows linguistic evidence of being written far later than Solomon, although it claims to be written by Solomon (Ecclesiastes 1:1, 1:12, 1:16, 2:8-9, etc.)
    • SBL Study Bible - "Its earliest plausible date is the 450s BCE, based on its use of specific vocabulary."
  • The book of Proverbs, specifically Proverbs 22:17-24:22, appears to borrow from an Egyptian text called the Instruction of Amenemope in some pretty striking ways
    • SBL Study Bible - "Two of the authors listed are probably foreign (Agur son of Jakeh and Lemuel), and one section of Proverbs was influenced by the Egyptian wisdom literature of Amenemope (22.17-24.22), making Proverbs international in character."
  • Many scholars believe that Isaiah and Zechariah both had major portions added to them by different authors
    • Regarding Isaiah - SBL Study Bible - "In all likelihood, chapters 40-55 contain the work of one or more authors active in Babylon and/or Judah during the mid-to-late sixth century BCE. These chapters have explicit references to the Persian leader Cyrus, who reigned from roughly 559 to 530 BCE (44.28; 45.1, 13). There are also allusions to the subjugation of Babylon in chapters 46 and 47 and a prophetic call for an exodus from the city (48.20)."
    • Regarding Zechariah - SBL Study Bible - "Chapters 9-14 reflect a changed social and political situation. Whereas chapters 3-4 reflect God's faith in Judah's political and religious leadership, chapter 11 is openly critical of its "shepherds." This shift suggests that chapters 1-8 and 9-14 originated in different historical contexts. They also differ in style and content."
  • The book of Jeremiah was probably originally much shorter. There is a shorter Hebrew version of Jeremiah (which is also arranged in a different order) that is preserved in the Septuagint
    • SBL Study Bible - "A final element related to origins and composition is that the book of Jeremiah seems to have developed in two related but different Hebrew editions that coexisted simultaneously. This is apparent in the difference between the Hebrew (Masoretic Text) and Greek (Septuagint) versions of Jeremiah. The Greek version is one-eighth shorter than the Hebrew and has a different order (for example, placing the oracles concerning other nations [chs. 46-51 in Hebrew] in the middle of the book). English Bible translations of Jeremiah are nearly always taken from the longer Hebrew version. However, the manuscripts of Jeremiah preserved among the Dead Sea Scrolls indicate that the Greek version also goes back to a Hebrew forerunner that has the same length and arrangement."
    • There is a similar phenomenon with the book of Ezekiel, albeit less extreme
      • SBL Study Bible - "The Septuagint (Greek version) of Ezekiel is roughly 5 percent shorter than the Masoretic (Hebrew) Text and probably derives from an early form of the book. Ezekiel 12.26-28; 32.25-26; 36.23b-38, not present in one important Septuagintal papyrus, are likely later additions to the emerging book. This newer material reflects eschatological concerns."
  • The temple that Ezekiel describes in detail in chapters 40-48 of his book, which was written during the Babylonian captivity, was never built by the Jews who returned. The relevant portion of the book of Ezekiel mentions sin/trespass offerings (Ezekiel 40:19, 42:13, 43:19-27, 44:27-29, 45:17-25, 46:20, etc.), Levitical priests (Ezekiel 40:45-46, 43:19, 44:10-15), Sabbaths and other holy days (Ezekiel 44:24, 45:17, 46:1-4, 46:12), and dead people (Ezekiel 44:25), making any future fulfillment from a Christian point of view make little sense
  • Daniel records king Nebuchadnezzar acknowledging the supremacy of the God of the Jews in chapter 4, after a period of 7 years of madness. There is no non-Biblical source that mentions or suggests anything like this occurring at all. And, if he had converted, one would expect that to have some effect on the Jewish Babylonian captivity, which he himself caused. However, there is a later Babylonian king named Nabonidus, who was the father of Belshazzar (interestingly, Daniel says that Nebuchadnezzar was the father of Belshazzar [Daniel 5:2, 5:11, 5:18, 5:22]), and a document from the Dead Sea Scrolls called the "Prayer of Nabonidus" describes him going mad for 7 years, and then being healed by the most high God of the Jews. So, it appears the book of Daniel conflated Nebuchadnezzar with Nabonidus, or repurposed this legend and applied it to Nebuchadnezzar (a much more famous king). I would encourage anyone reading this to simply read the Prayer of Nabonidus, then read Daniel chapter 4, and see for themselves, also considering the unlikelihood that Nebuchadnezzar publicly acknowledged the supremacy of the God of the Jews after going mad for 7 years, and then wrote a public conversion decree for his whole empire which apparently quotes Psalm 145:13 (Daniel 4:3, 4:34, compare Daniel 7:14, 7:27), Isaiah 40:17 (Daniel 4:35 - this part of Isaiah hadn't even been written yet when Nebuchadnezzar was actually alive), and Job 9:12 (Daniel 4:35)
  • Daniel 11 and Isaiah 44-45's (Cyrus) hyper-specific prophecies are both in extremely controversial parts of their books, which lends to the likelihood that they were ex eventu prophecies

The Hebrew Bible is full of errors and forgeries, and yet, it is the basis for the religion of Christianity, used constantly by the first Christians. Jesus even identified himself with a figure from the extremely dubious book of Daniel (Matthew 24:30, Mark 13:26, Luke 21:27), and appealed to the book of Daniel in preaching (Matthew 24:15, Mark 13:14). This shows him to be fundamentally mistaken, basing his message on a book with clearly forged chapters, which was written about 3 centuries after he probably supposed it had been.

Therefore, the religion of Christianity is a non-starter. It is an offshoot of an already false religion that focused on a single charismatic Jewish reformer in the first century. The foundation of the religion can be demonstrated to be full of errors, forgeries, and absurdities. So, it doesn't matter what the early Christians claimed or did not claim about Jesus. If all the members of a different Jewish sect claimed something even more remarkable, it would not do anything to change the fact that their own texts prove them to be mistaken, and following false prophets who pretended to speak for God.

Reason #4 - The Gospel of John is Clearly Fraudulent

When reading the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke), Jesus comes across as a rather straightforward teacher, a herald of a "Kingdom of Heaven", and one who taught using many parables and pithy sayings.

However, the Jesus presented in the Gospel of John is an entirely different figure. John's Jesus has a theme of wanting to confuse his audience in ways and events never seen in the Synoptics (John 2:18-20, 3:1-10, 4:7-15, 4:31-34, 6:41-60, 7:33-36, 8:51-53). And, he uses language that is never seen in the Synoptics, but is seen heavily in the writings of "John", specifically, First John. Additionally, his theology echoes John's theology.

What follows are examples of "John" putting his own theology and language into the mouth of Jesus:

  • John 13:33 (John 12:36, 21:5) with 1 John 2:1, 2:12-13, 2:18, 2:28, 3:7, 3:18, 4:4, 5:21
    • John's "little children" (Τεκνία) diminutive is put directly into the mouth of Jesus
  • John 3:3-8 with 1 John 2:29, 3:9, 4:7, 5:1, 5:4, 5:18
    • John's born again doctrine put into the mouth of Jesus, unknown to the Synoptics
  • John 4:13-14, 4:36, 5:24, 5:39, 6:27, 6:40, 6:47, 6:54, 10:28, 12:25, 12:50, 17:2-3 with 1 John 1:2, 2:25, 3:15, 5:11-13, 5:20
    • John's "eternal life" language/theology put into the mouth of Jesus many times. The Synoptics never present Jesus teaching eternal life the way John does - as a metaphysical present possession tied to belief in his identity
  • John 12:46, 15:4-10 with 1 John 2:6, 2:10, 2:24, 2:27-28, 3:6, 3:14, 3:24
    • John's "abiding" language/theology put into the mouth of Jesus
  • John 8:12, 12:35-36, 12:46 with 1 John 1:5-7, 2:8-11
    • John puts his exact "light vs darkness" language into the mouth of Jesus
  • John 4:23-24, 8:32, 14:6, 17:17, 17:19, 18:37 (John 3:21, 5:33, 8:40, 8:44-46, 17:19) with 1 John 1:6, 1:8, 2:4, 2:21, 2:27, 3:18-19
    • John puts his "truth" language/theology into the mouth of Jesus, totally unknown to the Synoptics
    • Additionally, John's "Spirit of truth" theology - John 14:17, 15:26, 16:13 with 1 John 4:6, 5:6
  • John 13:34 with 1 John 2:7-8: 2 John 1:5
    • John's "new commandment" language is put directly into the mouth of Jesus, unknown to the Synoptics

Jesus of Nazareth did not say or teach these things. No other source records him speaking like the author of First John (sometimes word for word), or teaching the distinct doctrines found in First John. Only "John" records Jesus doing so, because he is quite literally using Jesus as a puppet for his own theology.

Conclusion

Christianity is nonsense because it is founded on a false prophet, who did not rise from the dead, and who was himself the member of a false religion based on the erroneous Hebrew Bible. It is nonsense because it is based in large part on the works of a shameless forger ("John"), and other writers who invented speeches and events which never happened.